Forgive or Not to Forgive
by Sasha.Rizzoli
Summary: Jordan and Woody story.Woody makes a bad move, or so Jordan thought..... Does he have a good reason and can Jordan find it in her heart to forgive the man she loves? DISCONTINUED!
1. Chapter 1

_**I dont own Crossing Jordan... This was the first Crossing Jordan story i ever wrote... I hope you like it. **_

_**Forgive or Not To Forgive**_

Jordan was woken by her alarm clock, which was set for work. She turned off the alarm and sat up but was overcome with nausea.

She got up and bolted to the bathroom and made it to the toilet just in time to vomit, but as there was nothing in her stomach, it was just liquid. After almost constantly heaving for about 3 minutes, she stood up, flushed the toilet and then turned the shower on.

As she was getting dressed, Jordan thought to herself, "I have a feeling that, this isn't the stomach flu".

As soon as she arrived at work, she quickly parked her car in her usual parking spot, went up the elevator and rushed to her office and locked the door behind her. Lily saw and became worried. She walked over to the door.

Inside the office, Jordan grabbed out her calendar from her desk drawer and realised that she had missed her last month's period. She then thought back to the night 7 weeks ago, when she had sex with Woody without protection.

"Oh, shit! I must be pregnant" Jordan whispered and started crying.

Lily over hearing the crying knocked on the door.

"Go away" Jordan cried from inside the office.

"Jordan. It's me. Please let me in"

Jordan didn't reply, just kept crying. Lily gave up and walked into Garret's office.

"Garret"

"Yes, Lily?" Garret replied looking up at her.

"I'm worried about Jordan"  
"What's she done now?"

"She's locked herself in her office and she's crying"

Garret sighed and stood up.

"Ok I'll try" Garret replied as he proceeded to walk to Jordan's office.

He got there just as she was walking out; he noticed her pale face, red, puffy eyes and the black bags that hugged them.

"Jordan, what's up?"

"Nothing, why? I'm going to help Nigel in an autopsy"

"No you aren't. You're gonna come have a chat with me"

"No. I don't need a pep talk. I'm gonna help, Nige"

In autopsy, Jordan was just about to cut open the body of a 44 year old male, when she felt a wave of nausea run through her. She put down the scalpel and bolted to the toilet.

"Jordan? Love?" Nigel called out after her.

She made it to the toilet just in time to throw up yet again.

When she finished, she rushed in to her office and grabbed her handbag, ignoring Lily calling her, as she rushed out of the building.

She walked to the pharmacy, a couple blocks away and bought a pregnancy test before rushing back to the morgue and snuck in to the bathroom. After what seemed like the longest 5 minutes of her life, she looked at the box, then at the stick.

"1 red line means negative. 1 blue line means positive" She whispered to herself.

She then looked at the stick. A blue line had appeared, and she started crying. "I'm pregnant", she cried to herself, "how am I gonna tell Woody, that he's gonna be a father?"

She wiped away her tears and composed herself before walking out of the bathroom, and continued the rest of the day like normal.

When she finished work, she drove to her grandmother's house and got a credit card with a fake name before going to the bank to withdraw all of her money and put it in to the other account. So Nigel couldn't track her by her credit card.

When she finally arrived home, she packed her suitcase and put her guitar in its case before setting the alarm for 6 am and went to sleep.

When the alarm woke her at 6 am, she turned it off and rushed to the toilet and threw up 4 times before having a shower.

She got dressed and got something small to eat before locking her apartment and hopping in to the taxi waiting for her.

She caught a flight to Chicago, because she knew that no-one would suspect her to go there. She left her cell phone at home turned off, so Nigel definitely couldn't track her.

[Meanwhile At The Morgue

Garret was going crazy trying to find Jordan because she hadn't turned up for work. When Woody turned up, he found Dr Macy hanging around outside Jordan's office.

"Hey Dr Macy. Have you seen Jordan? She's not at her apartment"

"Shit. She's done a runner" Garret muttered under his breath. Before answering Woody. "No. I haven't, she should be here"

The next morning, what he got to work, he was so worried about Jordan, so he checked his email to see if there was one from her. There was one. He opened it.

To: Garret Macy

From: Dr Jordan Cavanaugh

Suibject: Sorry

Hey Garret,

Sorry about all this. I had to leave for a very good reason, this time.

I have to work something out. I don't know when or if I'll be back.

"Shit" He muttered to himself, not realising Lily was standing in the doorway.

"What's wrong?"

"Oh Lily. You scared me"

"What's going on? Was that from Jordan?"

Garret nodded. "Yeah. She's done another runner"

"Ok. We better tell Nigel and Bug"

Garret nodded and they walked into Trace to tell Nigel and Bug.

"She's done another runner, guys"

"Who? Jordan?" Nigel asked as he and Bug turned around.

Lily nodded beginning to cry.

"Lily. Love. Don't cry. I'll try find her"

"Ok, guys. Let me know" Garret replied before turning around and walking out.

[2 Hours Later

Garret walked back in with Lily. "Well?"

"Dr M, she has made it so we can't track her. She doesn't wanna be found" Nigel said sadly.

"Damn it. Why did she do this? She knows we would have been here for her" Lily said crying.

Garret put his arm around Lily for some comfort.

"Lily, you know how Jordan is. She'll be back when she's ready. Send her an email, see if she gives an explanation and see if she says where she is. She may decide to say" Garret said in a soothing voice before walking out with Lily.

[Meanwhile in Chicago

Jordan is suffering from pretty bad morning sickness. She has no-one to turn to and she was not starting to get homesick. She was sitting on the floor in the hotel room and checked her emails. There was one from Lily. She hesitated but decided to open it.

To: Jordan Cavanaugh

From: Lily Lebowski

Subject: Worried

Hey Jordan,

We are so worried about you. Why did you go? Where are you?

Love Lily

Xoxo

Jordan decided to tell Lily why she left but not where she was.

To: Lily Lebowski

From: Jordan Cavanaugh

Subject: RE: Worried

Lily, I ran cos I found out that I'm pregnant. Woody is the father. Please don't tell him.

And you don't need to be worried. I'm fine.

Jordan.

Xo

A/N: Please let me know what you think... please no mean reviews!!!


	2. Chapter 2

**Still dont own Crossing Jordan... please enjoy and review!**

Two months went by without any word from Jordan. Everyone was so worried for her safety.

One day, Jordan decided that it was time to go home. Everyone was shocked to see her turn up at work. Lily and everyone crowded around her. Lily hugged her. Jordan's belly was starting to show now that she was 4 months pregnant.

"You back for good?" Garret asked.

Jordan nodded. "I just had to get my head around this" Jordan said referring to her pregnancy as she placed her hand on her belly.

"How's the morning sickness, love?"

"Not too bad. It was bad at one point though"

Jordan was lucky that Woody was on a vacation for another 8 weeks.

At 5 months, Jordan went to her prenatal appointment. Lily went with her for support.

The OB was doing the ultrasound.

"Well, Jordan, everything looks good. Wanna know the sex? I have a good angle here"

Jordan nodded.

"You're having a…..girl"

"Wow, a girl" Jordan replied in a cheery voice with a huge smile on her face.

[3 Weeks Later

Jordan is now 6 months pregnant. Woody is back and heard that Jordan was back, but didn't know that she was pregnant.

Jordan was sitting at her desk in her office doing paperwork, when Woody knocked on the open door.

"Hey Jordan"

"Hey Woody" Jordan replied as she stood up.

Woody turned his gaze to her rounded 6 month pregnant belly and stared for what seemed like hours.

"You're……pregnant?" Woody asked in shock.

Jordan nodded. "Yes. 25 weeks"

"Am I….?"

"The father? Yes you are, Woody"

"Shit" Woody muttered before turning around and running off.

"Woody!!"

Jordan sat back down, put her head in her hands and cried. Lily overheard that commotion and came running and walked over to Jordan before squatting down in front of her and putting a hand on her knee.

"It's ok, Jordan. Don't worry about him" Lily whispered caressing Jordan's arm.

"But he's the father of my child" Jordan cried.

"I know. Hopefully, he'll come around"

Jordan put her hand on her belly. "Oh"

"What's wrong?" Lily asked panicking thinking something was wrong with Jordan and/or the baby.

Jordan took Lily's hand and placed it on her stomach where the baby was moving.

"The baby's moving"

"Wow! She's really active. Is she always like this?"

"Yeah, mainly at night, when I'm trying to sleep"

"That must make it hard to sleep"

"Not really. It makes it easier, cos I know that she's alright in there" Jordan replied now smiling.

[1 Month Later

Now Jordan is 7 months pregnant, Garret has pulled her off field work and is forbidden to go in to autopsy. Jordan tried to fight it.

"Garret, why can't I go in to autopsy? I'm fine"

"Yes, you are fine. But you are also heavily pregnant, and if you work too hard, you could go in to pre- term labour. So only office work for you and that's final"

Jordan sighed. "Fine"

"Jordan, it's for your's and the baby's own good"

"I know" Jordan sighed before walking into her office and locking the door behind her.

She was upset because she still hadn't heard form Max or Woody. Max didn't even know he was going to be a grandfather, where as Woody know that's he's going to be a father but he chooses to ignore the fact and her.

[5 Weeks Later

The baby is due in 2 weeks. There's a bad snow storm outside, so they are snowed in at work for the night.

Time: 10.16pm

Jordan is sitting in her office at her desk doing paperwork, when a contraction took over her body. When it was over, she walked over to her door and locked it. She tried to quieten her cries, so not to draw attention, but to no avail. Lily was walking to her office to talk to her, she tried to open the door, only to find it locked. She pounded on the door.

"Jordan, please let me in"

Jordan ignored Lily's calls. Garret overhearing the commotion, came walking over, to find out what was going on.

"Goddamn it, Jordan! Open the damn door!"

When Jordan finally opened the door, a contraction hit and she almost doubled over in pain.

"Jordan? How far apart are the contractions?"

"About 10 minutes. It's ok, I've only had 2"

"Has your water broken yet?"

Jordan shook her head as she sat on the couch.

"Garret, you can go back to what you were doing. I'll stay with Jordan"

"Ok. If you need me, come get me" Garret replied then walked off.

Lily helped Jordan through the contractions.

Time-2.37am

Jordan's contractions are now 5 minutes apart. She is leaning against the wall, with Lily rubbing the small of her back, when a contraction hit. Jordan screamed, just as her water broke.

"Oh shit! I need some fucking drugs" Jordan screamed in pain.

Garret, Nigel and Bug came running in. Lily noticed them at the door as Jordan kept breathing through the contraction.

"She's getting there. It won't be long now" Lily informed Garret.

"Shit. The ambulance can't get here. It's still snowing really bad outside. How close are the contractions?"

"Five minutes and her water just broke"

"Ok. Nigel, get something soft and warm like a blanket and lots of gauze. Bug, get a pair of scissors and something to clamp off the cord. Also something to clean out the baby's nose and mouth"

Nigel and Bug nodded then ran off to collect the items, as Garret walked over to Jordan.

"Come on, Jordan. Lay on the couch and spread your legs, so I can check how close you are"

Lily and Garret helped Jordan to the couch and she laid down. But she refused to spread her legs.

"I don't feel comfortable with you looking down there" Jordan panted as she breathed through another contraction.

"Jordan, think about the baby. You want her to be born safely don't you?"

Jordan nodded before Lily helped her out of her maternity pants and undies. She spread her legs as Lily covered Jordan's bottom half with the blanket on the back of the couch and Garret put on a pair of gloves that Nigel had grabbed for him earlier.

Garret checked how dilated she was.

"Jordan, you're 9 centimetres"

"I need some fucking drugs!" Jordan screamed as another painful contraction took over her body.

"Another one already? Lily asked.

Jordan nodded as she tried to keep her breathing under control through the pain.

"They're 2 minutes apart now, Garret."

"Yep, that's because she's close to delivering"

After 2 minutes another contraction hit. Jordan screamed as she held on to her belly and started crying. The pain was starting to be too much for her.

"Oh god!! Help me! I can't take this much longer!" Jordan screamed in pain.

Lily held Jordan's hand and caressed her cheek.

"It's ok, Jordan. Not much longer"

[Half an Hour Later

Garret checked Jordan again. Nigel and Bug had brought in the item needed. They were ready for Jordan to deliver since they know they couldn't stop it.

"Ok, Jordan. Push"

Jordan screamed and pushed. "Ahhh!"

"Good job. Again"

Jordan pushed with the next contraction.

"Owww! It hurts so much!" Jordan cried between contractions.

"Keep going, Jordan" Garret encouraged.

"I can't!" Jordan cried out in pain as she tried her hardest to push.

"Yes, you can. You're so strong and you're doing so well" Lily finally spoke encouraging Jordan as she rubbed the small of Jordan's back. Jordan was sitting up on the couch now, to make it easier to push.

"Ok, Jordan. I can see the head"

Jordan screamed as she pushed. "Ow! God damn it! I'm never having sex again".

Nigel and Bug tried not to laugh in the corner, at what Jordan had just screamed.

"What the fuck are you two laughing at?" Jordan spoke angrily at them through gritted teeth as she continued to push.

Garret looked up at them. "Jordan is in a lot of pain and you two over there are laughing. Get Out!" Garret shouted at them, then back to Jordan.

Nigel and Bug said sorry to Jordan as they walked out.

"The head is crowning"

"Arghh" Jordan cried and pushed.

It was really starting to get too much for her, she was exhausted. She hadn't had a good night's sleep in a while, due to the fact she couldn't get comfortable.

"Good job, the head is out. Just this last little bit, Jordan. Push gently for 10 seconds"

Jordan did as she was told.

10, 9, 8, 7, 6, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1" Lily counted as Jordan pushed and Garret guided the baby out.

The room was then filled with the newborn's cries.

"Say hello to your daughter, Jordan" Garret said as he placed the tiny baby on Jordan's stomach.

Nigel and Bug came back in when they heard the baby crying, announcing her presence.

"Wow. My little girl is finally here" Jordan panted still out of breath, through her tears of happiness.

"Ok, Jordan. Just got to get this placenta out, so just push gently"

Jordan nodded as Lily took the baby to clean her up and Jordan gently pushed the placenta out.

Jordan was so exhausted that she fell asleep before Lily returned with the baby.

Lily returned with the baby in her arms to see Jordan fast asleep. Garret saw her enter. "Let her sleep, she's exhausted. We'll take care of her for a while" Garret whispered as they walked out.

A/N: Please review!!! Only one more chapter then the epilogue... this story isnt that long.


	3. Chapter 3

**Please read and review!!!! **

Jordan woke an hour later, alone. She screamed because she thought someone stole her daughter. Lily and Garret came running in with the tiny baby.

"It's ok, Jordan. The baby's here" Lily said as she passed the crying baby to Jordan.

The baby immediately quietens down once she was in her mother's arms.

"Aww. She's so beautiful. Hello Mackayla Marie. Are you hungry?" Jordan whispered to the baby as she stroked her tiny cheek.

"That's a beautiful name. We'll leave you to two to bond." Lily said

Lily and Garret turned to walk out.

"Lily, please stay with me. I'm scared"

Lily turned back to Jordan as Garret left.

"What are you scared of? Motherhood?"

Jordan slowly nodded as she moved her top and moved Mackayla to her breast and nursed her.

"I know you're scared" Lily replied as she sat on the couch beside Jordan. "But you'll be wonderful"

Forty minutes later, Garret walked back in. "Come on, Jordan. We're taking you and Mackayla to the hospital. The storm is over and the roads have been plowed.

[2 Hours Later

Lily and Garret were sitting beside the hospital bed, which Jordan was asleep in, as Mackayla was in the nursery.

Garret had called Woody an hour earlier.

[Flashback

"Woody, it's Dr Macy. Just thought I would let you know that Jordan delivered a healthy 6 pound 8 ounce baby girl at 3:57am this morning. Her name is Mackayla Marie. Whether you decide to come to Boston General to see Jordan and the baby is up to you"

"Thanks, Dr Macy."

[Present Time

Woody walked in to see Jordan asleep and Lily and Garret sitting protectively beside the bed.

"Hey, Woody, nice of you to come"

"Hey Dr Macy, so….. Where's my daughter?"

"Nursery. But I want you to wait for permission from Jordan to see her because you left her to deal with the pregnancy and delivery on her own. If it wasn't for our support, god knows what she would have done"

"Was she born here?"

"No. She was born at the morgue in Jordan's office on her couch. I delivered her. Jordan was terrified as well as in a lot of pain, Woody!"

"I'm sorry"

Jordan woke to hear Garret yelling at Woody.

"W—what's going on?" Jordan asked half asleep.

"Oh sorry, Jordan. Didn't mean to wake you"

"Hey, Jordan" Woody said as he walked up to the bed as Jordan was slowly sitting up.

"Woody? What are you doing here?" Jordan asked now wide awake. "You decide to come now! After leaving me to handle the pregnancy and birth alone! Leave! Get out! Stay away from me and _my_ daughter" Jordan started yelling her abuse at hime before he could answer.

"Jo?" Woody whispered hurt.

"No. Go" Jordan said crossing her arms and looking away.

"Calm down, Jordan" Lily whispered caressing Jordan's arm.

"Woody, you should just leave" Garret calmly told Woody.

Just the nurse came in with the baby in a clear hospital bassinet. Woody saw her and his eyes lit up.

"Woody. Go!" Garret said more forcefully now.

Woody left as the nurse passed Mackayla to Jordan. The nurse left and Jordan nursed Mackayla.

[2 Days Later

Jordan and Mackayla were released from the hospital. Lily took them home.

They got to the door of Jordan's apartment and Woody was standing there waiting.

Jordan cradling Mackayla got angry to see him there.

"Woody. Go away and stay away!" Jordan yelled, which woke Mackayla and she started crying.

Lily opened the door and they quickly walked in and locked the door behind them before Woody could get in.

Jordan sat on the couch trying to calm Mackayla down, as Woody pounded on the door. "Let me see my daughter, please!"

"No! Go away, Woody. You've been an absent father! And if you don't leave, I will call the police. I don't care that you are an officer.

[2 Hours Later

Jordan and Lily were watching TV as Mackayla slept in her bassinet beside the couch close to Jordan, when the phone started ring.

"I'll get it, Jordan."

"Thanks, Lily"

Lily answered the phone. "Hello? Cavanaugh residence"

"Hi, it's Cal. Is Jordan home?"

"Yep, sure, hold on" Lily covered the receiver. "Jordan, Cal is on the phone"

Jordan stood up and walked to the phone. "Thanks"

Lily passed the phone to Jordan.

"Hey Cal"

"Hey Jordie. Has the princess arrived yet?"

"Yeah. 2 days ago" Jordan announced proudly.

"Wow. So….. What's my niece's name?"

"Her name is Mackayla Marie. She was born at 3:57am. Weighing in at 6 pounds 8 ounces"

"Wow! Mackayla, that's a sweet name. Was she born at Boston General?"

"Nope, the Morgue in my office, we were snowed in for the night." Jordan laughed.

Cal laughed as well. "I'm guessing my big brother wasn't there?"

"Nope. He avoided me as soon as he found out I was pregnant. But came to see us when we were in the hospital"

"Ah! I know why"

"Really?"

"Yes. He's scared he'll be a bad father. You see our father became abusive and an alcoholic after he was forced out of the police force due to an injury. So he doesn't think he'll be a good father"

"Oh my God! And I yelled at him to stay away. Why didn't he tell me in the 1st place?"

"I last spoke to him, last week. He said he hadn't told you cos he was afraid that you would leave him"

"Oh no. Thanks for telling me, Cal. I gotta go see him"

"Ok then. Take care. "I'll ring you later"

"Ok bye"

Jordan hang up the phone and looked at Lily.

"Sorry, but I have to see Woody"

"Ok then. I'll see you and baby Mac later then"

"Thanks for everything, you've done for me the last couple days"

"No problem" Lily replied then left as Jordan picked up a now crying Mackayla before sitting on the couch to nurse her. When Mackayla was satisfied and had been burped, Jordan changed her nappy, before getting the nappy bag and her handbag then locked the apartment.

When they got to the car, Jordan placed Mackayla in the baby car seat, before hopping in to the driver's seat and started up the car and drove to the precent to see Woody.

When she arrived, she parked the car, got out, grabbed the pram out of the boot before getting Mackayla out the car seat and gently placed her in the pram, so not to wake her.

She entered the building and pushed the pram to Woody's office; she saw him sitting at the desk and knocked on the open door. Woody looked up and his eyes lit up.

"Jo?"

"Hey Woody. Cal explained everything to me. I'm so sorry, that I yelled at you"

"Take a seat"

Jordan sat down and picked up a sleeping Mackayla out of the pram and cradled her in her arms, so Woody could see her.

Woody got up and walked over to Jordan.

"Wow. She's so beautiful, Jo. Can I please hold her?"

"Sure" Jordan replied passing Mackayla to him.

Woody stood there, cradling her while he took a good look at his 2 day old daughter.

"Oh my God! She's so tiny. She's like a mini you, Jo. But with my eyes", Woody smiled, "let's hope she doesn't inherit you're attitude. We don't need 2 of you" Woody joked.

"What are you gonna do if she is just like me, huh?" Jordan laughed.

"Um. I'll have to get back to you on that" Woody laughed, "I cant believe, she's mine" Woody said smiling.

"Well she is" Jordan smiled as well.

"Well, she's gorgeous! I'm glad I have a child with you" Woody replied and passed Mackayla back to Jordan, and then kissed her on the cheek as he stood back up.

Lu stepped in. "Woody, we've got a call. Oh, hi Jordan"

"Hey" Jordan replied before putting Mackayla back in to the pram.

"Ok thanks, Lu" Woody replied.

Jordan stood up. "I'll see you later" Jordan said then left.

Jordan didn't want to go home just yet. So she decided to take Mackayla to visit her 'family' at the Morgue.

When she walked off the elevator, she went looking for Nigel and Bug. She found them working in Trace. She walked in, they didn't expect to see her yet.

"Hey, Love"

"Hey, Jordan"

"Hey, guys"

"So, this is the gorgeous baby that we saw just after she entered the world" Nigel said looking at the tiny girl still sleeping in the pram.

He caressed her tiny cheek. She woke and started crying.

"Oops. Sorry, love"

"It's ok, Nige" Jordan said as she picked up Mackayla from the pram. "Is Garret in his office?"

"Yes" Bug replied.

Jordan carried Mackayla in to Garret's office.

Garret looked up when he noticed someone in the doorway. "Hey, Jordan. Is everything alright?"  
Jordan smiled. "Yes, of course. Just came for a visit"

"You've only been away for 2 days after giving birth in this place. And you're back already" Garret laughed.

Jordan laughed as well. "Yep"

A/N: Only an epilogue left. Only will post if i have 3 reviews


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